Juxtaposition

The juxtaposition of my son and my past is like the connective tissues I have so often twanged as I moved from one life to the next. I do not know why he chose to include this in his photo project but when I saw it I was drawn to think about it. I usually fall so deeply into the roles of my present life that a sense of mourning for my past ensues and at time permeates its fabric. Part of the reason for this I know is that I want those who I love to know what I was. Who I was. Why I was. Seeing my present and most important identity as represented in my son holding my past is affirming in a strange and elusive way. I think my son looks at me and does see the layers which make up my being. I hope so. To see more of this project go to:
http://lucasbriffa.blogspot.com/2009/12/persona-project-fall-2009.html

I have listened to this several times in the last few days and wonder why it is so alluring for me. I hope anyone who hears it will like it. It is a homage to Peru. I often play homage to my country in little ways such as my decor at home, the food I bring to gatherings, the clothes I were some days, the yarn I mostly buy if I have a choice and then there is the music. I now know I want to go back there some day and explore more my connections with my birthplace and listen to as much of its music live as possible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An77pmw3mQ4

Here my parents and aunt and uncle are younger than I am now and it is blowing my mind. It must be circa 1960s. I want to know what were they thinking and how did the world look to them then. My Papa was so good looking and my mama so stylish. Did they wake up each day and yearn for days gone by or did they yearn for their futures in a new country, a new life. So courageous! So naive too. It had to be as who could guess that in the near years to come we would lose a president, a civil rights leader and run head-on into a war and race riots. Not yet though. Not yet.

ALL INCLUSIVE!!!!

• Unlimited blue sea
• Unlimited hot days
• Unlimited food
• Unlimited booze
• Unlimited Mayan smiles
• Unlimited entertainment
• Unlimited pool water
• Unlimited guest services
• Limited but very real guilt that some have so much while others work so hard for very little.
  

Contemplating the future

My son says he is an atheist! When did that happen? I am not sure what to say really. He is too young to be cynical but is that what he is? I have not imposed religion on him or his brother and neither has their dad. Yet it is worrisome that he does not believe in a higher force of some kind to explain what I feel sure must be so confusing at times for him. Or maybe it is just confusing for me? I have been more spiritual in recent years than since I was a teen when I identified as a "Jesus Christ Superstar" follower. It made sense to me and believe me the 70's were quite difficult for teens. I am not sure what if anything I can offer Vince that might help him open some possibilities for spiritual practice. Love and compassion I do show him and I guess that will have to do for now.

There and Back.

Is it possible for music to span the ages tugging hearts across many generations and crossing whole oceans with the roots of culture firmly attached, pulling back the "lost to other nations" and drawing anew the young longing for those roots? Yes!! Mi Lindo Peru calls to me so often even though I hardly know her. Her music especially is attached firmly to heart's strings and I drink from her fountain often. Hay la musica Creolla y del Norte! Yesterday mama and I listened to lots of Los Panchos videos on Ytube and she told me stories of her youth when one of the guys serenaded her friend with his guitar. It was wonderful. Take a listen to the music of my parents roots and mine as well.

SURREAL is:

SURREAL is:

Having a birthday margarita that a few small birds could bathe in.

Having a son who was not even 21 inches at birth measure in at over six feet.

Having a brother who gives you a shaving apparatus for your face as a birthday gift. Ok i guess he is not known for subtlety and I could use it.

Getting stuck in a 53 year old body when really I am still only about 23.

Mothers are so much fun!

At our recent gathering of the Mothers we had a blast documenting the making of the Picarones. Here Mama holds one up for us to admire and droll over. This is a treat that my dear Tia Cucha has been making at family gatherings for the past many years. This year some of the younger mothers gathered to watch her and get the recipe. Then the PAPS aka(Peruvian American Princesses) went a little crazy with the laughs and hip movements. We even got Tia to shake a little booty. These are my wonderful mamas and we are a bunch to contend with. What fun and joy to be with them.

Evening

One of my favorite times of day is early evening in late spring or early summer. I sit and listen to birds calling out and have a sense of fulfillment at the day's events. Tummies are full and light fades gently and invites for a walk. Tired but content I look forward to the night and quiet activities and then sleep at last. My favorite time of day.

mothers

With Mother's day fast approaching I reflect on mothers. The umbilical cord stretches across the distance to Mama and son. I am a mom, I have a mom, I crave a mom as I mourn the passage of young mother into old mother. Taking care of mom and reliving mom as that one who feeds and watches over with tenderness rooted in the reality we call life. My womb remembers being full of life. Grateful to have been given the gift of life. Mothers are connections between people who love each other. I am a mother. I am connected to life.

Creative juices

When those Creative Juices start flowing there is no stopping them. Or rather who would want to? Yesterday was one of those days when a sunny sitting spot, beautiful materials and upcoming celebrations called out for some time out to create. I love my little hearts most because they will go to people I love. It is so hard to create for profit because you do not know who will hold your creations in hand. Eventually duty called but not till I had created 5 little projects for Mother's day.

Filling space

I have always loved containers. Little boxes, baskets of all kinds, bags made of wool, tule or lace are my favorite things to collect. I make them for loved ones or simply to hold little wonders I find. I have them on every available surface and they bring a sense of order to small disorders. Little soaps in the bathroom, rings in the kitchen, keys by the front door, precious jewels on the dresser. They are comforting in some intangible way. I think I'll make more containers this month.

Easter. Why do I find this photo so haunting? It has so many hidden or not so hidden implications. The towel on the ground is there to protect. The dress is there to display. The lack of shoes implies a sense of throwing off conventions maybe? I hope so.

Letting go of the apron strings.

Letting go of the apron strings. 19th birthday and away. We try to connect the best we can. Technology has made for a bizarre interaction across space and time.

Pin cushions. Adventure in felting, adding details and examining the possibility of artist juices. Art versus craft. Craft.

The visual image

I realize how much I love the visual image. I hungrily look through old videos, photos, and artifacts kept in old boxes. Y tube holds gems for me now too. My sons have their creative outflows archived there and every so often I take another look to see if I can gain any more understanding into inner lives that will most probably never truly reveal themselves to me. And that is as it should be. Does not make it easier though. I have posted some of those videos on this blog.

What to say?

My first blog entry. What to say? Puzzles are not my favorite activity. I have done them with my preschool children. I have done them with my two sons. I often puzzle about life. Is that a legitimate verb? I will puzzle this situation out too.